A quick update…I start counseling tomorrow.
I hope it works out, sooo many counselors just don’t get it, this PA lifestyle, but I really want to work on myself, since my marriage is pretty much gone.
It’s MY time now….no more working on my marriage or my husband.
I guess I’m a slow learner, LOL, but I just could NOT stop working on my husband and marriage….or maybe I just had such FAITH that God can fix anything, so I kept on trying??
But it’s not up to me to fix what’s broken….PA Man has to decide that he wants to fix himself….and sadly, that’s not the case….He’s happy with himself, in fact he just recently told me, after we had an argument, that he is FINALLY standing up for himself, and accused me of not liking it when he does!
Well no, that’s not true, I’ve always wanted him to stand up for himself….IF he was being treated wrong…like when his parents use to call and berate him for something they thought he could do better….it would make me so mad, he NEVER stood up for himself when they did that…and I couldn’t understand why he just sat there, silent on the phone, never defending himself…
But now he’s decided that I’m the enemy, and he has to “defend himself” against me…Ok. Whatever.
At this point, I’m just trying to live my life, doing what makes me happy.
As long as I’m pleasant to PA Man, go along with his Mr. Good Guy routine…there is peace in the house….so that’s what I’m doing.
I’ve finally figured it out….I set the tempo for our family…if I’m upset or angry with PA Man, everyone is impacted….But if I’m content, not angry with how PA Man acts….then things are almost normal.
So that’s what I’m trying to do now…I don’t expect anything from him, I do what needs to be done, my kids know they can depend on me, we are a team, my kids and me.
It really does help that PA Man is traveling a lot right now…He’s been gone the last two weeks, home on the weekends, then gone again….and he’s gone next week also. 🙂 God is good to give us this break from PA Man…I pray it continues.