As I sit here writing this, I have two loaves of freshly baked bread cooling on the counter, and a maple glazed pork loin in the oven…I love to cook, and I usually try to cook a big Sunday dinner because that’s when my oldest son and his wife, my wonderful DIL, come over after church and spend the afternoon.
Everyone is so busy during the week, this is our family “catch up day.”
I don’t know if I’ve ever mentioned this, but my son is the youth pastor (YP) at our church….And forgive my favoritism, but he’s really a great YP 🙂 I’m so proud of the man he’s become, especially when you know how dysfunctional our family has always been!
As a Christian mama, it’s what I desire for all my boys, to serve God is WHATEVER they are doing!
So anyway, Sundays are my favorite day of the week…because we act like a normal family for a few hours, and PA Man is usually a “good boy”, not always, but most of the time! 😉
Just thought I’d give y’all a sneak peak of my family 🙂
If you’re reading this, you’re probably wondering why I decided to blog again and where PA Man and I are in our “marriage”…
Well, sorry to say nothing has changed since I blogged here last October! I know! I’m sure you’re all gasping in SHOCK, right?? LOL!
I tried….really, I did! But as I’ve come to learn and accept, PA Man is NEVER going to change…and oh my gosh, I’ve fought against that, I really have!!
I lived in denial for a very long time and these last few months have seen the blinders come off…and I can admit, my marriage is broken and it cannot be fixed.
You have to understand… I’m a go getter! My glass is never half full….it’s always full to the top, brimming of hope and optimism! Do NOT tell me something can’t be done…If there’s a will, there’s a way…Let’s git ‘er done….Yep, that’s me!!
Ms. Optimism…. at your service!
BUT…..I’m married to a Passive Aggressive…and I’ve learned, and trust me, I’ve been kicking and screaming as I’ve learned this…but, there are some people that you….Just.Can’t.Change.
It’s taken me four very long years to finally accept this. And accept it I have.
But here’s the good thing….I’m ok with it…I really am. Because it’s not ME!!! I’m ok…I’m a nice person…I’m loyal, I have a witty personality, I’m trustworthy, I have several very good friends who know they can come to me and I’ll be there for them, and yes, sure, I can be a bit of a diva, LOL, but…I’m NORMAL!!
I’m a normal, slightly crazy, but in a good way, person.
PA Man though….he’s NOT normal…as Dr George Simon said in his book, In Sheep’s Clothing…my husband is “character disturbed” and he will ALWAYS be this way!!
So where does this leave me? I can ask him to move out, file for separation, and then divorce, because let’s face it….why separate…and stay that way? He’s never going to change…so divorce is the only answer…and after what happened at his office Christmas party…oh baby! (More about that in a future blog) Divorce was all I could see in my future…but a funny thing happened on the way to the divorce lawyer…I changed my mind!!
WHY should my kids and I suffer financial hardship, just because my husband is a PA Jerk?? I’ve lived this way for 29 yrs…so what else is new, right?
BUT I did make a decision….I did what I needed to do to make me happy….while PA Man was out of town on a business trip…I moved him into the spare bedroom! Dec. 9th I took a stand…I drew my line in the sand and kicked him out of MY bedroom!! The freedom!! Oh the glorious freedom!! I should have done this months ago!!
And there I will leave you…for now!
Next blog post…The Christmas Party that set it all in motion!!