He didn’t go to counseling….

So PA Man didn’t make his counseling appointment…. He went to the office but they told him that he had an appointment for NEXT Tuesday!

Yes, I KNOW….I was suspicious also, I mean seriously…how convenient, right?

But mistakes ARE made so I will trust that it was an honest mistake…

Anyway,  he told me tonight that he made another appt. for next Friday, because he will be out of town early next week and can’t make the Tuesday appt.

So ok, I’ll admit I’m a little surprised he made the appt. Well, to be honest, A LOT surprised, but still keeping my guard up!!

I’ll keep you updated after the appt. next week.

BTW, tonight my youngest son prayed at dinner…and he said this at the end of his prayer,  “and please help mom and dad so that they don’t get a divorce.”

I found that very sad.

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10 thoughts on “He didn’t go to counseling….

  1. It is sad. Sad that people delude themselves into thinking that their actions will not impact their children… still praying for all of you. And praying that PA Man will come to some understanding of himself and his relationships…

    • Thank you DJ, It really does help to know I have friends praying for us!
      And yes, It is sad how PA Man has deluded himself for so long…he’s done soooo much damage in the last four years, more than the damage from the EA, which is crazy!!
      IF only he would have taken responsibility for his actions, we would be so past all of this!! The affair was a symptom of a much bigger problem within himself…and sometimes I fear that the damage is too great at this point in our relationship!
      A case of ….Too little…too late :/

  2. Agree, it sounds suspicious. . . especially if your guy is pretty much always prompt and doesn’t make mistakes about dates. Odd that he made an appointment for a time that he will be out of town. . . My guy would do this too. . . make it look like an “accident”. . . for something that he didn’t want to do.

    Not to rain on your parade. I hope counseling for him will ultimately bear fruit.

    • Jane, to be fair, he didn’t know he’d be out of town this next week….he found out on the same day as his appt. about 3 hrs earlier….that’s the nature of his job.
      BUT when he called and told me it was this Tuesday, I asked him if he had changed it, since he wouldn’t be here…His response was VERY telling!
      He got a bit aggravated…I could hear it in his voice.
      And he said “No, I think I’ll be able to make it home but Monday night so I can make the appt. on Tuesday!”

      And then I asked him, “Well, doesn’t it make better sense to just cancels Tuesdays appt. and make it Friday, just in case?”
      And he got a bit snarky and said, “Fine! I cancel and make it for Friday!!”
      He didn’t cancel it that day….he did it two days later, but I do understand his attitude….he is soooo against me “trying to control him”….those are his words….That I know he saw my suggestion as a means to control him….instead of a wife making a simple statement.

      That’s the problem in our marriage…I want him to “man up” and take responsibility around here…and when I speak up, he instantly starts thinking I’m trying to control him!

      Our first counselor told him, while I was sitting right next to him, “You CANNOT be upset with your wife for being in control…when YOU have given her that control!! It’s not HER fault! Someone has to lead in this marriage…and YOU gave her the job!”

      Obviously….what the therapist said didn’t sink in, LOL!

  3. lonely, I just want to encourage you to take as much energy as you can and focus it on YOU for at least awhile. Anything that will nurture you and take your thoughts off of what he is or isn’t doing.

    • PJ. That’s what I did…after I made my suggestion to change the appt. to when he’d know for SURE that he’d be home…I said nothing more about it the rest of the week!
      It’s up to him to get the help he needs….if he doesn’t, we separate in February…and he already knows this.
      At this point, he works to save the marriage and his family….or he does nothing and loses it all.
      At least I’ll know where I stand, won’t I?

  4. Yeah mine did that. Made an appointment to see the Associate Pastor and HAD to cancel because of an IMPORTANT work related call! He TRIED to make another appointment, BUT the Associate Pastor WOULD NOT call him back! Really, you think I bought that? :/ He called like a gazillion (my exaggeration here) times, but no call back. He came to see this as a sign that it wouldn’t help if he went. ?!?!? Yeah, figure that one out if you can. 🙂

    I do wish you peace and patience.

    • Gaining…PA Man did that last February…I talked to our teen pastor…he’s a family friend and PA Man had said IF he ever talked to anyone, it would be J, since he liked and trusted him!
      So in January of last year, I told J EVERYTHING and to say he was shocked is an understatement!
      So he met with PA Man twice, for breakfast, the first meeting he never mentioned the affair, or his PA behavior….but at the second breakfast he did….and then after that, PA Man never returned his texts…
      He later told me that J is “to young” to understand…J is in his mid 30’s!!
      J did tell me after that 2nd meeting that PA Man is VERY closed off, very hard, and that he’d never seen anyone like that.
      I agreed.

      • Lonely, at least yours went, mine never did. Of course, the outcome is the same isn’t it? LOL They are misunderstood and it’s all our fault. 😀

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