Hallmark Channel and a Dream….


PA Man is out of town this week….AND next week! πŸ˜€ Can you say HaPpY DaNcE??

And he was gone the week before last AND the week before that!

I LOVE his job!! LOL!

The boys and I are having so much fun…I made a delicious dinner last night, and my married son and DIL came over…they stayed until 11:00…on a work night!

We are a family…minus the father. And I find that sad…that no one misses him.

In fact, son #3, when he came down for dinner, asked, “Where dad?” And I said “He’s out of town, remember?” Β Son #3, “Oh, right, I forgot.”

They don’t care….they never ask if he arrived safely. Or when he’ll be home….And I know that this is part of being older teens/young adults….but still…they just never ask about him at all!

And I get it. I really do! Because I’m the same way! I wish it wasn’t like that…but it is.

I don’t think I love him anymore….well, yes, I DO love him….but I’m not IN love with him.

I had a dream 2 nights ago…Darn the Hallmark Channel and their stupid movies! LOL!

I was in love…I mean LOVE!!! The heart pounding, can’t wait to be in his arms kind of love!!

In the dream, I was older than the man I was so deeply in love with….and I got cold feet and was going to leave…but his family BEGGED me to stay, Β to wait for my love to get back….I have no idea where he was…it WAS a dream and it made no sense. As most dreams do! LOL

So I waited….and I felt such love from my dream mans family…and when dream man came….I felt so complete, so LOVED, so WANTED, so CHERISHED….that when I woke up, I was crushed that it had only been a dream.

I wanted to cry.

Because it wasn’t real. Because I realized that I’ve NEVER felt like what I felt in that dream…

But I didn’t cry….I pushed the sadness away, got up, and went about my day, because this is real life, and I’m too old to have happily ever afters…I’m 53, I had my chance….and now it’s gone.

But if you are reading this….if you’re young, if you have your whole life ahead of you still…GO! Get out!! There ARE decent, kind, loving men out there!

Don’t settle for this half life! Find a love that will cherish you, protect you, support you…it does exists!!

Just don’t settle for anything less!! Have a dream…and hold on to it with both hands and go for it! πŸ™‚








7 thoughts on “Hallmark Channel and a Dream….

  1. Paula…seriously…I think it’s having that special love and losing it. You can’t really miss what you’ve never had…you can dream about what it would be like, but like this post says…it’s just a dream πŸ™‚
    To be honest, after feeling the hurt and sting of betrayal…I don’t really think I’d want to put myself out there like that…to feel so loved, so special to someone….and then to find put it wasn’t real…or if it was, it is now gone. 😦
    Thank you for your kind words….you’re such a special friend to me! ((hugs))

  2. So let’s create a new dream for ourselves…doesn’t matter if it will never come true, let’s just dream! My dream is to go to Italy and study Italian at a language school. Will probably never happen, but it isn’t fantastical, it’s within the realm of the possible! Things like that are dreams I keep secret from PAH, and it feels good that I have dreams I will never tell him about, so he can’t tease me about them and criticize me for wanting them. Go for it!

    • Oh man! I’d LOVE to live in the Caribbean…with PA Man…I know, I KNOW!! But in my dream he’s a different man…not PA at all, and wonderfully romantic, and we have the love of a lifetime! Or maybe I’m in the Caribbean….and it IS a different man!! LOL!
      I love the Caribbean…it’s so beautiful, the pace is soooo slow….Just a nice place to relax and enjoy life. πŸ™‚

      • You remind me of the colors of the Caribbean πŸ˜€
        I just hope that whomever you dream about is someone that is as full of joy like you are! You need to be with a confident man that loves to laugh and cuddle and dance and sing and loves to make others happy!!!

        Just sent two resumes..I really HATE applying for jobs. It’s the most horrible experience and just torments me!!! Every time I don’t get a job, I feel so deflated 😦

        I think I’ll apply for the next presidential position. Why not? If I’m going to humiliate myself, I may as well go for the big one, right? Will you vote for me? πŸ˜€

    • ” Dreams are the touchstones of our character”…..Thoreau

      Very important to dream. Thanks for reminding me of that Marsocmom ;D Our dreams reveal our true character so, I hope every single one of us can still dream despite the coma that many of us may be in 😦

  3. Exodus…..girl, just keep sending out those resumes! The right job is there, just waiting for you!! I’m proud of you for standing up for yourself!! You CAN do this!! πŸ™‚

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