So PA Man told me he wants me to be happy. Isn’t that wonderful??
Well, it’s not what you’re thinking…he basically wants me to stop talking about the affair, stop being mean all the time, HIS words, not mine, and to be happy, because I NEVER seem happy anymore!!
Oh, OK. So I have my orders! I have to be happy, happy, happy, because that makes HIM feel better….who cares what I feel, right??
Who cares that 3 1/2 years after the affair, I’m still having triggers, I STILL don’t trust him, I still wonder what other secrets he might be hiding….I’m to be HAPPY and stop being so mean!!
Who cares that he’s passive aggressive and won’t do anything about it….who cares that his boys don’t miss him at all when he’s gone on week long business trips….and neither do I!
Who cares?? As long as PA Man is happy…that’s all that matters!
PA Man threw me crumbs this weekend…..and I gobbled them up, like a fool. Well, after our conversation yesterday, that won’t be happening again.
I now know how he truly feels about me. And I will remember. I’m a mean, unhappy person, who never lets anything go….meaning the affair…and he doesn’t want to hear about it anymore.
He says he’s sorry, but he’s not. I know this. I’ve known it for awhile…..true, genuine remorse means change….and PA Man hasn’t changed at all….He’s still a selfish man-child….and I’m now wondering if I’ve done more harm to myself and my boys by staying and trying to fix this marriage….when, in fact, I should have made him leave after Dday.